How to Help Your Teen When They’re Struggling

Kids are resilient, and they can, and often do, bounce back from tough times and adapt more easily than you can ever imagine.

But just because they can, it doesn’t mean they should or always will.

Even adults struggle with bouncing back from adversity. So, expecting teens and younger children to do so without help or support will only serve to make things much more difficult and give them more to overcome.

Helping them when they face challenges, whether it’s:

• navigating friendships
• relocating across the country
• facing something serious, such as a life-changing illness or injury
• the loss of a loved one

…can be tricky.

But knowing when to help them and when to let them find their own way? That’s something of a balancing act for parents.

If you’re living this right now, here are some ways you can help them and give them the support they need. Even if they don’t think they need it.

Listen

It’s really that simple. You need to listen to what they do say when they open up and listen without interfering, talking over them, or dismissing them.

And you also need to listen to what they don’t say. What they don’t talk about that they usually do, or what they omit.

Silence speaks louder than words. And those bits that are left unsaid are where they are screaming into the void, hoping someone realizes.

If you’re unsure of what to do, just stop everything and listen.

Give Them a Choice

Sometimes it’s not what you say but how you say it.

You might be desperate to help, to get them to open up, but if they’re not ready, you’ll only make the issue worse.

Instead of trying to force them to do what you want, try open-ended questions. “Is there anything I can help you with?” This can allow them to open up or ask questions as they want to, rather than feeling forced.

Asking if you need to do anything is also helpful. If they’re upset, 

• “Do you need help or someone to listen?”
• “Do you need advice or a sounding board?”

Give them control over what they share and when. Make it informal. And, whatever you do, don’t force the issue.

Let Them Know Help is There

Help can come from you, it can come from school, relatives, or even counseling for teens.

It can be

• Practical
• Emotional
• Behavioral

 It might be that they need medication to help them through anxiety or depression, or they might need to offload to someone who isn’t close to them or has expert training to give them tools to move forward. Help isn’t a one-lane road; there are branches, and all branches can and should be explored.

Model Behavior

You might not think this works on teens. But honestly, they will notice.

If they see you managing your stress, feelings, or other issues appropriately, this can help them see different ways to work through what is going on. Be intentional with how you act; use this time to indirectly give them tools and advice via how you act and respond.

They can’t know what they don’t know, and their brains aren’t fully developed, so by showing them through example, they can note it and use it as appropriate.

 

Want to unlock greater wellness?

Listen to our friends over at the Wellness + Wisdom Podcast to unlock your best self with Dr. John Lieurance; Founder of MitoZen; creators of the ZEN Spray and Lumetol Blue™ Bars with Methylene Blue.